I Justine

A few months ago, I came across a viral video comedienne named ijustine. Honestly, she's hysterical. She goes out and does incredibly funny videos about absolutely anything. From her 300 page phone bill to spoofs about changing her facebook profile pic set to the tune of the Black Eyed Peas "I Got A Feeling" to her exasperated plea for a cheeseburger, all of the videos are relevant and funny and often set to music. Her recent video is about those terribly corny and ridiculous jewelry commercials that started airing as soon as the turkey left-overs hit the refrigerator shelves. Seriously, the one that starts with the storm outside always gets my attention because I think it's a movie and then I get all interested until I realize that it's so sappy that I start to feel all sticky and dirty for watching it. I'm glad to see I'm not the only ones who thought the recent commercials were over the top cheesy.

Check out Justine's new video here.

*snort*

She's funny and goofy and silly and sarcastic and ridiculous and childish and crazy. In other words...she's me. A much younger, much prettier, much funnier, much braver me.

The Power of a Badge

I don't normally do this but just had to pass this along as I got a real tickle out of it...

The Power of a Badge.....

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs. " The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.


The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. " Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes is badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "


The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......




With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....


" Your badge. Show him your BADGE ! "

December Ninth

I finally heard from one of the social workers. They were able to schedule a teaming and it will take place on December 9th. At that time a group of social workers will get together to discuss the case files of all prospective adoptive parents, including us. They will also make a decision as to which family best meets the needs of the adoptive child.

*jumps up and down*

Now, there is still a good chance that he won't be the right match for us but I'm feeling very optimistic. I've badgered the social workers enough so that maybe they'll just pick us so that I will QUIT BUGGING THEM ALREADY!!! Even if it's not the right fit, that just means we're one step closer to finding the right boy.

I have no idea what time they are meeting but I'm hoping that it's earlier in the day so that I can hopefully get a phone call. Otherwise I will have to twist and writhe and bite my fingernails in bed all night long.

I have a gut feeling that we're the right family for him. But that could just be that I so want it to work that I'm making it seem that way in my head. I'm one of those types of people who believes in signs and I feel like they are all around me. First, Bubs got promoted to Kindergarten which opens up a place in the pre-school which is where he would need to be. Coincidence? Perhaps.

Second, the other night- out of the blue- a woman gave us 2 HUGE bags of clothes that fit Bubba because he has grown length wise out of his 5T clothes. Which means that we have a huge amount of 5T clothes just waiting for someone to wear. Ahem.

I know...it's a stretch but I'm trying to look at things in a positive manner, to pick out the little things, the signs that perhaps some of us would miss. I guess it's because I believe that God takes care of us, many times in ways that we never even recognize. I think he's preparing us in ways only a father can.

*jumps up and down again*

Two Years

If Roses grow in Heaven
Lord, Please pick a bunch for me
Place them in my mothers arms
and tell her they're from me
Tell her I love and miss her...
and when she turns to smile,
Place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile
Because remembering her is easy
I do it everyday
But there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.

All Day!

Bubby started a full day of Kindergarten this week. As many of you will recall, I had a hard time deciding what to do with him this year because he's a December baby and also, he has P.D.D (nos), a mild form of autism.

At the end of last year I had told his teachers and the special education director that I wanted him to do a full day of pre-school again because I didn't want to push him and I knew that because of his birthday, I wouldn't really be holding him back.

Well, he grew tremendously during the summer. He made huge advances in speech and motor skills as well as being able to sit for extended periods of time and pay attention. On top of that, I noticed that he tended to mirror the behavior and speech of children around him and I was very afraid that he would go to pre-school with children who were significantly behind him developmentally and start to regress.

I asked for him to do morning preschool and afternoon Kindergarten and they looked at me like I had completely lost my mind. I still wanted him to have the safety and security and reinforcement of preschool but I also wanted him to be challenged and have the exposure to "normal" kids. They reluctantly agreed. But only because I threatened to stand outside the school with my picket signs until they agreed.

He started school and did handsomely. All of my worries about Kindergarten were completely unfounded because not only did he keep up, he excelled. His attention to detail and ability to pay attention serves him well. In many cases, he performs better than many of his classmates! By the time teacher orientations rolled around, the school suggested that we meet for our annual PPT to determine what his goals should be for the rest of the year.

To our surprise, the director of special education suggested that he be promoted to all day Kindergarten since he had met all of his objectives in pre-school. We all thought he would benefit from the repetition of a full day. Everyone else only gets half day so Bubs is getting it full force. His teachers adore him. They ooh and aah and tell me how wonderful and sweet and agreeable he is. It's nice to hear this and it's in stark opposition to what we hear about Birdie!

He is right on par with all of his classmates. He is starting to read and is beginning to understand math. His social skills are exponentially better than ever. I can't even begin to express how amazing this is for us. This is a boy who only 2 years ago was completely unreachable. A boy who had ZERO speech, who couldn't tolerate hot and cold and dark and light. This is a boy who had no sense of self or recognition of others, a boy who was trapped in a loop of repetitive action, a boy who could not see out of his shell.

It's hard for people who know him now to imagine this about him. They see a normal little boy who functions very well. A boy who is heart-achingly gorgeous. But we remember. It's all still so clear in our mind and it's almost like a dream, a miracle that he is where he is today.

Many parents have high expectations for their kids. They want them to excel in reading or math or science. They want them to be exceptionally behaved or have musical talent in order to make themselves stand out. All we ever wanted for Bubba was for him to fit in. We wanted him to just be normal so that he wouldn't stand out as being different.

He will always face difficulties, we will always have the challenges of helping him maneuver the world. I'm so excited to see what he can accomplish!

Belated Wishes

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I know...I'm a little late in wishing you a happy holiday but as we tell our kids "you get what you get and you don't get upset!"

We had a terrific turkey day. It was just me and Howie and the kids and Mamaw. I cooked dinner with a little assistance from Birdie. This year she peeled potatoes and it was wonderful except for the little part where she had trouble getting the potato shavings into the trash so they went flying across the room and stuck to the walls and floors and cabinets.

I kept it pretty simple: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and corn. I normally make an authentic pumpkin pie...like completely authentic...homemade crust, pumpkin puree from a cooked sweet pumpkin and freshly whipped cream. This year I couldn't be bothered so I made it from a jello box. It was still good. They ate it just as excitably which led me to wonder why I normally put all that time and effort into an authentic pumpkin pie!

We ate at noon and lounged around the house for the rest of the day. It was so wonderful and relaxing, all around enjoyable! I totally love my family and have so much for which to be thankful.

We are starting to get our own traditions in our family. For example, we always have a Butter Braid for breakfast and then let our bellies grumble until noon. After dinner, Howie sits in his family room chair with a pile of black friday flyers and a magic marker. Later in the afternoon, we begin decorating for Christmas. We put up our tree and begin digging decorations out of the basement which isn't always an easy feat seeing as how my decorations always seem to be labeled in the wrong containers. Our Christmas stuff is labeled "Easter" and "Fall" and "Fourth of July". It's a good thing they are see-through because otherwise we'd be SK-A-ROOD!

The house looks lovely although not nearly cheesy enough for me. I like my decorations gaudy and cheap and totally over the top. This is a total departure from my normal sense of decorating. My house is usually very empty, devoid of anything stylish or even pretty because I LOATHE knick knacks or anything that makes for clutter. But Christmas? CLUTTER IT UP, BABY! Unfortunately, my husband doesn't see it that way. He prefers something with a little more class. So we use only white lights and try to stay away from too much over the top decorating. It's a compromise that I make because in return I get to be completely crazy and totally unreasonable during the rest of the year.

We also have a tradition of buying an ornament every year to represent what was going on in our life at that time. We have one for the year we moved in together and the year we got married and for the birth of each child and for the things they loved and accomplished each year. This year we will have to get one that says "Boom Boom Pow" for Bear. Or maybe they make a Black Eyed Peas one? Because she's been obsessed with them for months. She's only 3, yet if I let her she would decorate her room with posters of Fergie and Will.i.am and Taboo and whoever the other guy is. For Bubba it would be something about Kindergarten and his amazing accomplishments which is so incredible, it deserves a blog unto itself. And Birdie? Do they make an ornament for being a pain in the ass? An ornament which shows that she never combs her hair or that she has the stinkiest feet I've ever smelled? That's it! I'll get her a smelly foot ornament! It will be so heart warming.

We also decorated the front of our house for the first time ever. Our landscaping had been so out of control in the previous years that although we wanted to, there was just no way to make it happen. But since we cleaned everything up this fall, we were able to cover our arborvitaes and four junipers with white lights. It looks GAWJUS if I do say so myself.

Yep. We're all set for Christmas. Except that we're not. :-)

Unfan

Maybe it's because I'm getting old. Or maybe it's because I am more of a prude than I thought. Or maybe I speak for many of you when I say, "what the heck was up with Adam Lambert's performance on the AMAs last Sunday night?"

Holy cow!!

I want to point out that I am (was) actually a fan of Adam Lambert. I think he's crazy talented and refreshingly different. I think he has a tremendous amount of potential and he really seems like a nice guy.

If you don't already know this, let me let you in on a little secret. He's gay. I know...you're probably gasping with surprise, right?
Because he is so reserved and shy and not at all ostentatious.

In all seriousness, his sexual orientation isn't my business. Which is why I don't need to see him grabbing a man's face and shoving it in his crotch to simulate oral sex while I'm watching Sunday night television. And I certainly don't need to watch him tongue another guy or engage in S&M or thrusting and touching himself either. It was just over the top.

Apparently ABC felt the same as me as they edited his performance for the west coast airing of the show. It seems that critics are divided. Some say it was "ultra-lewd" and others seem to find it wonderful. I'm siding with the "ultra-lewd" crowd.

Obviously, he's not the first to make a lewd performance on the AMA awards. He is following in the suggestive footsteps of artists such as Madonna. Lambert claims that he is being discriminated against because the west coast show was edited.

Honestly, it has nothing to do with his being homosexual. It has everything to do with vulgarity and that comes in many forms, heterosexual included. It doesn't matter whether a woman is doing it or if a man is doing it or if they are heterosexual or homosexual. What matters is that it's just plain inappropriate.

Honestly. After watching the performance I felt like I needed to rinse my eyeballs in something strongly antibacterial. I would totally post the video but then I don't want to subject you to such things. If you haven't seen it, consider yourselves lucky. Oh, and does anyone know how to "un-fan" yourself from a facebook page?